From the Application to the Adjustment: What Comes After "Getting In"

I’m on the plane flying back from visiting my own daughter away at college. I’m in full parent mode right now, not wearing my college counselor hat. Just thought I’d mention that upfront in case you're here strictly for admissions advice. This one’s a little more personal.

As this year’s college admissions cycle begins to wind down and seniors choose which college to attend, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to this important time in a high schooler’s life. Up to this point, so much energy has gone into getting in—the campus tours, test prep, essay revisions, financial aid forms, and countless late-night conversations about “fit.” For many families, it feels like a years-long marathon with the final stretch ending in an acceptance letter. But getting into college is only part of the story. What comes next—the transition to college life—is just as important, and far less talked about.

But here’s the thing: getting in is actually just the beginning.

Think of it like a wedding. There’s the venue, the guest list, the dress, the seating chart—all the energy poured into the “Big Day.” But then the real journey begins the next day: the marriage. In a similar way, college starts when the acceptance letter arrives, not ends.

What we don’t talk about enough is the transition that comes after move-in day. Not the logistics of dorm shopping or meal plans, but the emotional and structural shift your student is about to experience—especially when it comes to time.

Let’s back up.

Most high school students lead incredibly structured lives. School typically runs from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m., followed by sports practices, music lessons, jobs, or club meetings. Then it’s dinner, homework, maybe a bit of downtime, and bed. That’s roughly 12 hours of their day spoken for, five days a week. Add in 8 hours of sleep (hopefully), and you’re looking at a nearly full schedule. Their weekdays are pretty much mapped out for them.

College is very different.

Most college students are in class somewhere between 12 to 16 hours per week. That might translate to just a few hours a day, and sometimes none at all. Suddenly, students who’ve had every minute of their days spoken for are faced with more free time than they know what to do with. No one is telling them when to wake up, when to eat, or what to do with their afternoons. For the first time in a long time—or ever—it’s all up to them.

This can be liberating. But it can also be lonely, confusing, or overwhelming—especially in those early weeks when everything is unfamiliar and friendships are still forming.

That’s why it’s so helpful to have a conversation with your college-bound student before they get there. Talk about the transition—not just emotionally, but practically. What are they looking forward to? What worries them? How do they want to spend their free time? What are some things they might explore if they find themselves with long stretches of downtime?

College campuses are full of opportunities: clubs, intramural sports, Greek life, research, part-time jobs, volunteer programs, student government, and more. But none of it is automatic. Students have to seek it out. And it helps if they’ve thought about it in advance.

You don’t need to have every hour of their week planned out. That’s not the point. But giving your student a heads-up that life is about to get less structured—not more—is one of the best ways to ease the transition. Help them imagine what their days might look like. Encourage them to build some kind of routine early on. Let them know it’s okay to feel a little lost at first—and that most students do.

As my own daughter wraps up her first year of college, I remember how slow the start felt for her—and how, all of a sudden, sophomore year now is around the corner. These days, she’s not just doing well—she’s genuinely thriving, radiating happiness and a sense of connection beyond anything we could have imagined (I’m actually worried she isn’t going to come home!). Looking back, I wish I had taken more of a moment to talk with her about the transition itself. About how different college life can feel in those early weeks, especially after the structure of high school. I think that conversation could have helped ease some of the uncertainty she felt in the beginning. Because college isn’t just about getting in—it’s about learning to live independently, building a new rhythm, and easing into adulthood. And that part deserves just as much attention.